Of Course It Would Be a Water Bong

So upon waking this morning I had a complete change of heart and decided to dedicate this blog solely to the stomach contents of Jessica Simpson! But then I saw this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ldlrgmt26L8 and now I'm afraid of her. So it looks like we're back to the boring old news blog idea :(
But wait! What's that? Pop culture calling again to save the day?!? Oh Michael Phelps... How you annoyed me for the last six months or so but all of a sudden I find myself very much in your corner. I was getting real sick of hearing all those interviews about how hard you worked to get where you are today. Not because I am in someway jealous of your accomplishments but because I am lazy and lazy people don't like hearing about how hard you have to work to become successful - and seriously if I have to look at your stupid, perfect abs one more time...
But now there's this! Phelps hitting the bong! I'm sorry, was that pre or post 15 hour workout? And just imagine the lung capacity this guy has! In all seriousness though, I'm feeling pretty bad for Phelps right now. He was just banned from the American swim time for Christ sakes! The media has shown us the photos and shook their mighty heads to let us know that this is just a sad, sad thing. Another hero has fallen. Instead, shouldn't this beg the question as to why we have the drug laws that we have? Doesn't this somehow highlight how incredibly small-minded the war on drugs is? He's not taking steroids or doing something addictive like crack (or Sudoku). If this picture had been of Phelps doing a keg stand there wouldn't have been nearly this much flak given there is nothing illegal about drinking but I for one will always prefer the easy-going stoned guy at the party to the backwards cap keg stand guy. I mean, aside from the legality issue, what argument can anyone possibly make that says Michael Phelps shouldn't be smoking pot? Speeding is illegal and had Phelps gotten a ticket for driving too fast would there be this much fuss? Of course not! Try this one and see how stupid you sound - "If Michael Phelps wasn't such a pot head he could achieve more in life." This is the most decorated medalist in the history of the Olympics, a once-in-a-lifetime-athlete, a person who is clearly aware of what his body can do for him, who are we to tell him what is a healthy choice and what is not? Michael Phelps could smoke pot everyday for six months and still swim laps around any prosecutor or member of the media looking down on him for this. But don't get your hopes up about this starting some national conversation. America is as invested in the drug war as ever, spending billions of dollars on airplanes and pesticides to poison destitute farmer's fields in Central America and imprisoning non-violent American offenders, instead of, you know, actually putting some money into crumbling schools where many of those "offenders" first learned that the government doesn't really care about them... but I digress. The point is if you think America's going to loosen up any time soon when it comes to this, well (Phelps, take note) don't hold your breath.